[One of our clients on Christmas Eve brought one of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten: homemade bread, still warm! My vet and I snapped a quick selfie to commemorate the occasion.]
Christmas on call. Always an adventure, and this year no more or less than any before.
Christmas on call is the feeling of quietly holding my breath whenever I go to do something, keeping my phone propped up on the bathroom window so I can shower but still hear the ringer go off. It’s asking coworkers on the Friday afternoon to make extra scrub and flush syringes and make sure that surgery’s prepped and the emergency kits all stocked and ready because, because, I remind our newest assistant, if we’re prepared for everything, nothing will happen — veterinary superstition that I’ve never quite been able to let go. It’s stocking my purse with protein bars and my pockets with pens, keeping a notepad handy for calls that come in while we’re driving, a spare pair of socks in the car and extra hair elastics around my wrist. It’s trying as hard as I can to enjoy the Friday night before call switches over to me, in bed by nine and asleep by nine-thirty only to jolt awake by six knowing that it begins…
Christmas on call is switching my ringtone to the screeching siren I use to make sure I’ll never miss anything, realizing that at some point I’ve inadvertently trained my cat to recognize it. The first time it goes off, Saturday morning, he appears from nowhere to fly onto my chest and spread his not-inconsiderable six kilos of muscle and fluff over my neck so I can’t get up without feeling claws start to dig in. The joys of separation anxiety. I detangle him from my body and my blankets and leave him babysitting my coworker’s kittens for a distraction; when I leave he’s got one pinned down and is busily grooming him, much to the kitten’s displeasure. Christmas on call is leaving in full daylight but leaving the porch light on because maybe, if I do, I won’t be coming back in the dark…
Christmas on call is coming home in the dark, is spending a half-hour at a coworker’s birthday party before the siren calls me out again stuffing the remnants of a ham roll in my mouth; my work family pressing food on you — bless them, I’ll take the homemade goodness over my own empty house any day. Christmas on call is shivering inside your too-big jacket that I got from my landlady and cling to stubbornly because it’s a free jacket, it’s a wonderful winter jacket and just because it’s three sizes too big doesn’t mean it’s not perfect. It’s the loaf of bread the client presses into my hands after long hours with her horse, wrapped in a plastic bag but still warm so fresh so good oh, god, the smell makes me weak at the knees and I can’t thank her enough. It’s Christmas morning at my vet’s house so that if I’m called we can get there faster, opening presents and drinking eggnog and twitching every time her phone goes off is it someone? Do we have to go in? And every time it’s not an emergency the feeling of tension slithering out of my shoulders and laughing at the look on each other’s faces. It’s the stockings in our comm boxes at work, a secret Santa (another vet of mine) keeping us sane with chocolate and socks and gifts for our furry children. It’s Google-mapping roads which Google isn’t sure exist, squinting at street signs which don’t match our directions because it’s north past the old graveyard and turn left near the Bailey’s place if you’ve hit the school you’ve gone too far which doesn’t exactly plug into a GPS, laugh-snorting into the dashboard, why would I have any idea where we are? But still, somehow, finding our destination.
Christmas on call is smiles and hugs even in the hardest of moments, the worst of times. It’s the quietly sincere thanks and the little offerings, bread and chocolate, a firm handshake, a nod. It’s frozen cars and pocketfuls of syringes and nervously checking that I’ve got my phone and it’s charged half a dozen times an hour. It’s kindness and sorrow and relief, it’s napping in the afternoon and wolfing down fast food on the road and drinking tea by the gallon. It’s the five different offers I get for Christmas dinners to attend. It’s a quartet of steers bellowing for grain, a heeler bolting across a field with a little golden terrier in hot pursuit, it’s pressing a paw into soft clay and pretending I’m not having to swallow tears, it’s homemade eggnog and loud music and Merry Christmas, it’s kittens tearing down my tiny tree and presents from far-away family, and it’s work and friends and clients and patients and the way the stars shine at night, no matter what goes on beneath them.
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